wolfgang tilman you better watch out, DANI IS HERE

i would say this one above is one of my favorites.

installation views in my studio

questionable ones.

dani tilman *a-ha-ha*

ideas from Wolfgang Tilmans

A thought , hopefully for food.

Its silly to say, and look at all the made up words and typos in these poems but ...

it does feel really self reliving to finally say (probably highly in the wrong words)

im glad i finally grew the balls to deal with a personal serious issue like this in my art. just for now, maybe not even tommarow or later on, but right now ? Yeah, right now I feel like the big kahuna ( in later generation terms like really cool )

from tuesday feb. 26 2008

and i infuse myself with questions unanswered, 

confused and dampered,

dar like the night, only revealing the light,

i seek revenge on myself, something i lack in this hard attack

 when i laugh at my last breath, you come back to heal me,

not quite like a panic attack,

but its so foggy outside, like a nausiating circus right,

rewinding the tape, realizing im falling back,

mistrusting the maturity i lacked,

and for once i can say, your right when i was wrong,

head ashamed as your moral bonds

hold it high cause you deserve the world,

but it upchucks me to hear

you replaced me with stupid girls

you went to end back to beginning 

something we both learned lacked dignity

so were both crying with peg legs

and you look so skinny

unbalanced, misplaced

but your eyes reveal the world

you shout out inside yourself,

sometime i craved to feel,

willing to open my wounds,

and when you held me i cried,

deep emotions never lied,

as your grip tightened i got frightened

never felt love, but then your sight went in

and i see now that your gone, 

we were suppose to start a family,

but its just a messy lawn, i have been cleaning for weeks

hoping you would help me, but i dont ask for guidance

on things i f*cked with, somehow your here,

ringing sweet lost love in my ear,

as my eyes bleed pain, wanting to cover my eyes

from the harsh rain, the thunder scars me,

as the monsoon sedates me,

i tried to uncover us in history,

just another un-destined mystery.

an old poem from feb 08

and when you die, 

look to the soul, 

you finally awakened,

selfishly taken

and spit your lungs out,

so i can waste them

i will save the scarlett heart

for last

so i can taste it

to suck on your morbidity

is but a luxury,

to think of all the living

you despise

on this roller coaster ride

and even yet 

to know i lack the things

which i can not comprehend

the sheer thought of you

bloodied, shrivilling hopelessly

makes me one of them.

contemplating study

Death.

Sex.

Absent.

confusion

Trying to show the camera an idea so abstract.

snarrles

tension rising.

trying to let go of something immpossible.

the other

stuck. 

in the memory.

the camera caught

what i wasn't

ready to show.

The Closet Series

just another piece of clothing hanging in a closet, never worn;or too worn to show myself.

the camera snapping a shot when im not looking.

holy arms and lost legs

after dealing with my stubborn self i finally started to cooperate and open up, the photos followed.

time for my favorite color

comfort. blanket.

getting a grip.

bedroom

due to sudden inspiration, this is how i spend my saturday nights. 

does my back really resemble a lamp? i guess it would be my spin, but i like the juxtaposition.

Inspiration

inspiration by a photo, result of serendipity.

Seminar

holy holy heck. seminar is so close to the first show, being one that i am in and i have cold feet!!! very cold feet, and working like crazy this weekend. i think these shots are coming along best under pressure, which is unusual but also thankful serendipity.